As I sit here looking out over the Animas River in Durango, Colorado, I am contemplating my upcoming adventure. I have been here for a week. Being here is a gift given a couple of months ago, however I did not fully appreciate its timeliness until just recently. It is one of those treasures that seems to magically appear, just at the right time. It is the serendipity which happens, when traveling. This particular journey I am currently traveling on, is one in which I will be venturing into the mystical realm of Mother India. The sojourn actually began at the moment of inception, when the idea first occurred to me and I said, Yes! “India huh, – really ? - are you sure? - why not ? - where else - of course ! - oh my gosh ! - I AM GOING TO INDIA !!!!!”After checking with Daniel as to when he would be returning to Albuquerque for the summer, and caring for Sophie, the travel dates became clear to me, even though it would be another two months before I made my plane reservations. I was careful not to rush the idea into manifestation prematurely , allowing to it take shape in a gradual and natural manner. If this idea was real, and not merely a figment of my imagination, surely it would unfold without me needing to “make” anything happen. The idea actually revealed itself out of a place of quiet desperation. With so many precious needs, such as clarity, direction, purpose, sustainability, and understanding unmet in my life, I found myself mired in despair from not having a clue as to what this particular life is all about. Even as I felt a deep inner connection, on the surface of my life, never before had I been so uprooted, “living off the grid”, as one friend put it. Without a home and unemployed, with Sophie in tow, we moved 9 times since returning from Budapest last summer. During a good part of that time, we spent our days walking the paths of the North Valley, along the corridor of the Rio Grande River. We walked our way thru the fall, winter and into spring of 2008-2009. . Yes, Sophie and I took some great walks. We experienced mother nature at her finest, as she revealed her ever changing, and unfolding expression of beauty and abundant life! Consistently reminding me of the true nature of life. Wildlife was always present, as Canadian geese, ducks, and Sandhill cranes all migrated in to the area for the winter, resting and replenishing before heading further north. Alpacas, goats, sheep, horses, and other farm life, along with lots of fellow canines, all graced our path, as we walked. We were also accompanied by friends and family.
Throughout the changing seasons, the skyscapes mutated into multiple shades of color ,from deep red evening sunsets, to cold, crisp bright blue skies - that went on as far as my imagination would take me. The foliage turned from dark green to shades of red, orange and yellow to lifeless brown –as the leaves fell to the ground, rendering the the limbs barren for the winter - and then returning once again to the light green of new life, soft and tender. The River slowed down during the winter months, continuing to provide adequate water levels for Sophie to swim and play in, while creating wonderful expansive beaches upon which to bask in the cool winter sun.
As difficult as the days may have been, it was on the walks that I was able to, time and time again, re-establish my deep inner connection with self, somehow maintaining a healthy perspective from which to carry on. So, as I speak of homelessness, never did I really feel homeless. In addition to always having a place stay, I was always able to return to my favorite place to be, outdoors - walking the paths of the North Valley, with Sophie. I was always grateful when welcomed in. Each time, blessed by the generosity and care of others, provided with opportunities for growth, connection, support and consideration. Other than the moments when I was taken to the edge, before really knowing where our next place was to be, the journey has been OK (except for the schlepping of stuff from place to place…..which is a whole other conversation…..why do I have so much stuff? too much stuff…surely ….I will travel lighter thru India!). While all of this moving is not my preference, it has been tolerable, acceptable, bearable, for the time being. I trust that I will rediscover the joy in it, as I make my way into the upcoming adventure.
It was in March, when I began to grow weary from -not knowing - that I broke open, as I prayed, for a new experience of life. A life which provided the means in which to more fully express self, contributing more fully, all that I am and all that I have come into this life to offer, that the idea occurred to me. Shortly thereafter, I dealt with a health issue that required an in-depth examination of self. Was I up to the task of persevering or not? The answer was quite clear. With just a little encouragement I was quite willing to continue the task of co-creating the life I was intended to live. Soon, I was invited into a new housesitting situation, for the month of April. It was here that I actively embraced Spring, as I eagerly pulled weeds,creating plenty of room for the newly planted seeds to grow. An abundance of seeds and plants were cultivated into the ground. Grass, wild flowers, potted flowers, vegetables, herbs. It was here that I began to recover from the place of despair that I had spiraled into. I slowly I began to heal as the process of self nurturing took place. It was during this time that I booked my flight. In doing so, I moved thru a time of questioning the India idea, as my world reflected back to me the shadow stories lurking deep within. I began to imagine just what my world of relations were thinking, as I began to claim the reality, I was going to India!! "How can that possibly be! “You are homeless and unemployed. One does not travel under those conditions?”, I imagined them screaming. Some screamed louder than others. But scream they did –in my imagination that is. On the day, that I was to confirm my plane reservations, there appeared to be a very good possibility that I would not make the deadline. I surrendered, trusting that if I was to go, I would surely go. By midnight that night, my e-tickets were safely stored in my mail box, just waiting for the time of departure.
The month of May has been an interesting one. It has been one of letting go, as plans have continued to change, from day to day. At one point, it appeared as thou I would be spending my time in Albuquerque, Belen and Santa Fe, and low and behold, it is in Durango that we are! And clearly it is the right place to be. It is a gentle, easy, lovely place to be as I continue to open into the plan. In preparation for the trip, Soph and I continue to walk, now along the banks of the mighty Animas River. Meanwhile, I imagine, I network, I Google, I watch videos of India and read stories of India, all the while secretly aware that most likely there is no way to really prepare for what lies in store. For now, I am doing my best to lighten my load, tending to business, so as to go fearlessly, unbound and free.
With the good possibility of getting a bit distracted by all of the things to see and do, I must stay connected to the original purpose of this journey, as it was revealed some three months ago. I am going in order to experience God. To experience my True Self, up close and personal. I am going in order to enter into sacred spaces from which to listen, to pray, to surrender to the full realization of the purpose of this life, so that I may move into fuller and richer expression from which to contribute to life.
So, as I continue walking the path, as it leads me into the vastness of India, I will do so with an open heart and mind, ever so grateful for the richness that life has to offer.
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.
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