into the realm of Galtung

As I took off for Norway, after spending a week with the NVC community in Warsaw exploring connection, I was primed for something intimate and personal, feeling quite open and vulnerable at the same time.

Making the decision to study further with Johan Galtung involved a financial commitment I was not prepared for, creating a real dilemma for me. I waited to the last hour to make my plane reservation, seeking some clarity as to the appropriateness of making such an investment of time, energy and financial resources.

Needless to say, I did purchase a roundtrip ticket to Bergen Norway, and at 4 AM I set out for the Warsaw airport. My first stop was in Oslo Norway, where I had a two hour layover. As I entered the airport, energetically, I felt a familiarity with this place. In addition to the fair skinned, blue eyed Anglo population, more people spoke English than I had experienced in a couple of months, (in public places that is) in the midst of a very open, expansive, light filled public space. There was a sense of having come home. And in a strange way, more so than I imagine feeling in the USA.


Over the past couple of years, I have been able to do a good bit of travel. For the most part it has been to Mexico and Central America. Those regions inhabited with darker skinned indigenous people. I have a great deal of respect for them and their ancestry and for the most part I return home feeling nurtured from having spent time amungst them. Clearly, none of the generations that go before me, are from that part of the world, however on a deeper level, I feel an affinity with these people, in their less complicated, simple, well grounded way of being in the world. I find it easy to connect with them and their sacred land and the deep deep culture that resides there. It is my soul that is nurtured while in their presence.

Interestingly, Norway, as Johan puts it, has “little soul”. Which perhaps explains why I have not felt particularly drawn to this part of the world, being inclined towards the spiritual, as I am. Before Christianity arrived around 1050, Norway was the center of the Viking civilization and with it came the Norse mythology, including the stories of good and bad forces. According to Johan, a big part of the local mythology has to do with the battle between Balder and Loki. Loki, the god of death, was believed to have won out, and the “stones wept”. In 1650 the country converted from Catholicism to Protestantism. Today, there is a rapid decline in Christian practices while Nordic spirituality seems to be focused on the land and the sea. The sea not necessarily experienced as a nurturing, loving presence. In fact there seems to be a certain amount of fear of its powerful force, taking many lives every year. Nevertheless, I feel an affinity here. I suppose it is in my bones that I feel it. My grandparents’ family sailed across the ocean, from this Scandinavian part of the world in the late 1800’s, so that I do indeed have roots here.

In exploring the possibility of making the trip to Norway to study further with Professor Galtung, it was thru the NVC network that I was put in contact with Bjarte Bjorsvik. He has been practicing NVC for a number of years and has been very involved with peace works, thru different NGO’s. He lives in Bergen, the closest city to Jondal, where the training was to take place. He too planned to attend the training. We had had a couple of email exchanges and he was quite helpful. When I arrived in Bergen, I was invited to stay at his home for the night and then together we would travel to Jondal, a three hour bus ride and 15 minute ferry trip away.

After arriving in Bergen and before heading over to Bjarte’s, I had a chance to do a bit of exploring. Bergen is a quaint town settled in amongst a range of 7 mountains, situated on a peninsula. It is on the northwestern coast of Norway and is the 2nd largest city in the country, with a population of approx. 250 thousand. I arrived on Saturday and the plaza was bustling with activity, including open air chess games and martial arts dance and play. It has a booming oil industry along with a very vital sea operations. It is the largest port in Norway and one of the largest in Europe. Norway has a very strong economy with an average annual income of $80,000. For this reason they have yet to join the EU. I am imagining that the financial well being of the community has something to do with the ease with which the people seem to be about their life.


There appears to be a casual, easy going confidence here. The kind that financial security can help to provide. Getting to Bjartes involved a couple of bus rides. I was thrilled with the experience of getting onto a bus that was packed with great big burly Norwegian men who had gathered together to attend a football (soccer) game. As they belted out their traditional team songs, the bus rocked. I have not experienced that much male energy in a very long time. I absolutely loved it. I had the good fortune to hear that quality of male voice again, the night before leaving Bergen. There had been a Festival that day, and the plaza was filled to the brim with musicians. One of the groups was an older generation of sailors, singing out with great gusto, in their rich bass voices, their beloved ballads of the sea. Again, I loved it. (I decided then, that in future travels, I would not only bring a more reliable camera, but also a tape recorder. The sounds of the different regions of the globe can be as endearing and memorable as the sites.)

At first meeting Bjarte, I felt a quick and pleasant connection. I felt welcomed into his community. After catching a quick nap and freshening up, we decided to go into town for a bite to eat, settling on an open air restaurant. Helga, a friend of his, joined us. After a somewhat intense week in Poland, the carefree and casual conversation was most enjoyable. I felt like I was catching up with old friends, sharing a great meal of seafood, salad and wine, while listening to folk singers in the background, singing a combination of local tunes, Bob Dylan and Simon and Garfunkel. As it got late, Bjarte and I started back to his place, making our way to the bus stop, strolling along the harbor, thru the vibrant Saturday night crowd of Bergen. Quite a romantic colonial city it is. During the late night bus ride home we engaged in intimate conversation. The kind you don’t have in broad daylight, meeting needs for a different kind of connection. Feeling quite satisfied on so many levels, I was soon ready to settle in for a good nights sleep. Waking up the next morning well rested, we were able to carry on with our intimate sharing, giving each other our full attention. Oh my, how sweet this is. As we dropped in and out of conversation, while preparing for the week ahead, there is something emerging within me. Privately I am formulating a request. A request that we find the courage to maintain our connection. That we stay current with one another, no matter what arises. That we not flee. And that if we must, we say so, before departing. The request does not get spoken.

Onto Jondal we go, filled with excitement for the week ahead. Not only am I going to be with Johan who I greatly respect but also with this precious new connection with Bjarte. And on top of that, in the midst of the most incredible landscape, filled with mountains and streams, fjords and waterfalls, a glacier and bright blue skies. All of it quite breathtaking.



And then, something happened. He was gone. Almost as quickly as he appeared, he disappeared. Oh, dear Abbey. Surely, with all of our honesty, we can retrieve what seems to be lost. Figure out where we made a wrong turn and retrace our steps. Was it something I said, or did or did not do? Where did he go? After requesting some time, in hopes of meeting needs for clarity and understanding and perhaps connection, we do meet. We talk, we empathize, and I grieve the lose of something dear. Even though in NVC I am trying to stay more connected to the metness of needs, and not get attached to strategies as to how they are met, I am in pain. For a long time now, I have kept my needs for intimacy and companionship neatly tucked away. And now, here they are, just a short time ago in great celebration and now crying out in pain. It seems as though Bjarte’s need for safety and autonomy and self connection are making requests of their own, and his strategy seems to involve disconnecting from other, in order to meet them. So while theoretically I understand, my heart aches. Fortunately, I am still riding on a wave of resourcefulness, along with my great interest in what Johan has to offer. I am able to maintain my balance, but there were times when it is quite a challenge. Slowly I began to cultivate nice connections with others. Also, Helga decided to attend the training. We roomed together and she was great support. I felt like a had a real sister in her, for which I am grateful. I hope we can stay in touch. I also had nice connection with Cesar, a man from the Philippines, Moses from Sudan, Federico from Germany and a number of others, including Randi and Lars, who were both singers. They were as curious and interested in me, as I was in them. Their evening music helped to soothe my tender heart.

So, as I am engaged in my own intrarpersonal conflict, attempting
to make peace with seemingly different bodies of needs appearing
to at odds with one another, Johan begins to speak of the cultivation of peace on a global level between Nations, tribes and political leaders. And my body begins to reverberate. He is telling my story, made global. It is one and the same. As above, so below begins to takes on new meaning. I and the world are One and like never before, it becomes clear to me that the starting point begins with me! Familiar concept, new realization. And for Johan, what message does he have to offer in this creative, dynamic process?

His body of work is named Transcend. The path is one of exploring new understanding, new language, new projects. Transcending beyond where we have been and into new ways of relating to one another. The journey is one of mediation, conciliation, connection with the specific goal being Peace. His focus is clear and his heart is open, as he welcomes others to join him in this important work. Yes, I am ready to join him, doing my best to embrace and integrate the teachings he so graciously shares. I am grateful for his courage in forging the way for the past 50 years.
Yes, Johan Galtung, I love you and I appreciate the fullness of your life as it is made manifest. You are a harbinger of light and an inspiration to many. Namaste

With both the personal and transpersonal connections with Bjarte and Johan this week, my time in Norway was extremely rich and meaningful. I look forward to the fruit that it will bear as the ground of my being has been overturned, with many seeds having been planted. For now, I will do my best to remain fertile, ready and receptive to new life, as it emerges. And as it does, I welcome the opportunity to join with others in co-creating a more loving and peaceful world.





As I flew back to Warsaw to catch my train to Budapest, I am grateful that navigating from the airport to the train station was easy. The trip home was as comfortable going as it was coming. Interestingly enough, there was a four hour delay. While in no hurry to get any where soon, I was fine with the additional travel time. And with the “travel gods” looking over me, it provided time to get acquainted with the two men who stayed in the cabins on either side of mine. They were from China. Interested in engaging in conversation, they invited me into their cabin for some chat. Having traveled through out the world with Johan for the past week, I had some information on the current situation in their country. Curious to hear of their perspective, wasting no time I asked “WHAT about Tibet?” That was enough to open up a conversation that lasted for the next two hours. Basically, they expressed a lot of frustration and disappointment in that they do not feel as their country is understood. For these two men, the situation in Tibet, is about maintaining a united nation, which translates into a strong and well protected country, serving to provide safety for the well being of China and therefore its people. I do not pretend to really understand it all. What I do know is that once again, I had the opportunity to open my mind to different perspectives, different points of view, while recognizing that as misguided as we may sometimes seem to be, we are all seeking a safe and life fulfilling existence.

I pray that we become more skillful in creating this reality in more compasionate and mutually life serving ways.