In the midst of....

....integrating my week of study with Prof. Johan Gatlung, which happens to rank in the category of one of the most exhilarating and meaningful weeks of my life, Andrew and I got together for a couple of hours on Sunday. He had his 11 year son, Benjamin with him for the week-end, so the three of us met. We planned to meet at the Blaha Lujza ter at 2:30. Andrew was running a bit late, so Benjamin I got acquainted before he arrived. Benjamin speaks English so it was not too difficult, other than the normal awkwardness that comes with any first encounter. Our first thing to do together, was to stop at Mozarts Café for a dessert and to discuss the possibilities for the afternoon. Café ‘s are sprinkled throughout Budapest. They are a favorite place for Hungarians to gather. During the Russian regime they were discouraged, for fear that gatherings may lead to dissent, so many of them were closed or seating was replaced with stand-up tables only. The Hungarians have reclaimed their passion for these convenient places to sit, relax, enjoy one another’s company while indulging in one of their fabulous pastries, along with a great cup of espresso.
Given that we only had a couple of hours, since Benjamin needed to be on the Tram at 5:00, we were somewhat limited in our options. Benjamin wanted to see a movie, but there was not enough time. I suggested we visit Margaret Island, as I had not yet been there. I pass over the Island every day I am in town, but was saving my visit for when I had a good bit of time to fully explore it. Today seemed like a good day to at least get a taste of it. Plus, I imagined that it might be someplace that Benjamin would enjoy, as he had his roller board in tow. He settled and off we went.

(I know settling is not the best solution, but given our situation, it worked!).

Margaret (Margitsziget) Island is a beautiful little island in the middle of the Danube (Duna) River. It is a great place for people to gather together to enjoy nature, with large old shade trees, comfortable grassy areas for lounging , and pretty walkways lined with an array of blooming flowers. It is one of those public places where many different life forms converge, nurturing the soul of the City. A sacred space within the midst of a very large and bustling City, at that. There is a lot of activity on the Island, everything from jogging, walking, bicycling, peddle carts, tennis, sunbathing, football (soccer), playgrounds for the kids with swing sets, jungle bars, sandboxes, etc, roller boarding, thermal baths for soaking (much more on them later…they are quite a large part of the culture here) and plenty of opportunities to snack. Now that I have a better sense of the treasures that it holds, I will indeed go back, sooner than later. In fact, I have wanted to get in more exercise than just the walking that I do. Regular bicycle rides around the Island sounds like a great plan. I will check that out.

Here are pictures of some of the finer street art, done in the underpass on the way to the Island.

So, onto the Island we go. The Danube River is beautiful. Not as blue as it is referred to, but quite beautiful. After a walk across the bridge and onto the Island, it is not long before Benjamin spots a play ground to explore and then even better, a football game to join in. I am pleased that he is finding a way to get his needs for fun met, and welcome the opportunity to just hang out and get better acquainted with Andrew. Out of my curiosity and interest in connecting more to who he is and his life here in Budapest, I ask about Benjamin. Who by the way is quite a dear, delightful, precocious little guy who loves to read, has played the cello for 5 years and has a real eagerness for adventure. And most engaging of all, he has a real twinkle in his bright blue-eyes and seems to wear a smile quite naturally, even in the midst of disappointment. I enjoy his presence.

So with authentic interest, I ask about his life with Benjamin. My inquiry generates a willingness on Andrews part, to share with me his story. Later expressing some vulnerability, in that the depth of his sharing was unexpected. Not the “light-hearted Sunday afternoon in the park chat” he anticipated. And while I am able to appreciate those kinds of easy and playful connections, my inclination leans more towards deeper conversation. For better or worse, I am not at all surprised. Without going into a lot of detail, I will say that what I hear is difficult to take in. While I know that we all have our stories and that all stories are our own very personal interpretation of how things are/were, as a listener I found myself wanting to rewrite his story, as he is telling it. Rewriting it, because I do not enjoy the story he is telling. I have a hard time believing it. I am telling myself that surely it did not, could not have happened that way. It does not fit my idea(s) as to how life is. Not here in this wonderful new place I have just discovered.
Yes, I know about the oppressive Russian regime, and I have a very small inkling of an idea as to how horrific the German holocaust was, and that the Hungarians to some extent participated in that human atrocity. But to hear a story that indicates that the psychic underpinnings of that deep culture may still, in some form, exist is alarming. Briefly, Andrew, born in a Jewish family married a Hungarian woman. 21/2 years after Benjamin was born, he was told to leave his home, and that he was to have nothing to do with his child. As a father who dearly loved his boy, he refused to accept these demands, resulting in repeated acts of violence. Leading to multiple hospitalizations and repeated empty promises that “they would find out who did this and that justice would be served”. And while Andrew was quite sure who had assaulted him, never was he asked who it was, nor was anything ever done about it. Also, during that time, teaching positions that he held at the University were terminated. Court documents forged and any attempts he made for parental rights were denied. There evidently is a power structure based in the dark and not too distant past that remains in tact today.

As a tourist, this is more than I want to hear, especially from someone that I relate to.
And yet, what I appreciate about being here for 3 months, is that it is actually long enough to get a real sense of the place and the people that live here. So I say!

Fortunately, Benjamin returns, with a smile on his face, and surely it is time to move on.
As we gather our things and begin to walk back towards the Tram, I am relieved to be moving on. I let Andrew know that I am ready to go home and that perhaps we can get together later in the week. Maybe for a Pat Methany concert this Friday, July 4, when we can listen to music -that lifts the spirit, as we remember Independence day being celebrated in the States!

(No more conversations for a while..please).

So they go their way and I go mine. I get onto the tram, and then catch a bus that runs along the Danube River, on the Buda side, past the Parliament building. Getting on the bus or tram and just riding until in returns to my starting point is a favorite thing of mine to do. Effortless, mindless siteseeing. While enjoying seeing a new part of Budapest, I am tired and eventually find my way home. Into bed I flop, for a little early evening nap, before spending some time on my next blog entry about my journey to Austria, last week.

10 hours later I awaken, still heavy hearted. I imagine that if I am willing to stay present to the very uncomfortable feelings of yesterday, I will be able to re-connect with my self. That self that has so often refused to acknowledge the darker aspects of life. After all, I am a being of light, I crave the light. I have been blessed to manifest this love in the homes I have lived in, including here in Budapest. I am happiest in the light. And in reality, I live with a blindspot, a peripheral cut in my vision due to damage to my optic nerve from the brain abscess. The darkness is with me. I am imagining it has something to do with the development of a greater understanding of the nature of life.

Meanwhile, I am haunted by the metaphysical rap, that we create our reality, by where we place our attention. So, will I continue to chase the light, avoiding the ally ways, or be more willing to explore the dark places? I shall see.

While I have no illusions I am through with this material, perhaps now that I have honored and acknowledged it, I can return to the blog entry, in which I hope to be able to share the pure joy I felt as I experienced the most thrilling week, in the history of Abbey.

P.S.
Through sheer unyeilding passion and the death of Benjamins’ grandfather, some 5 years later, things have gotten easier for Andrew to be with his son. They are together every other week end and for a week in the summer. Their relationship is a very sweet and caring one. Andrew takes great pride in the fact that Benjamin knows very little of the trauma he has endured, in order to maintain their connection. From the love I feel between them, Benjamins' well-being is in tact, while Andrew continues to heal.

A few more photos:

Saturday night in Budapest, at Hero's Park, there was a free concert by Santana. There were thousands in attendance, with gigantic screens displayed in three different ares.

A woman after my own heart.

Lots of love to Sophie.

Oops, I got in my own way.....

Yesterday, for the first day after arriving in Budapest, I found myself out of sorts.
It started a day or so ago, when I was having to make a decision as to how I spent the Summer Solstice. I place special significance on the day, imagining that it is a turning point in the year, not only for the planet, but surely for me. So, how did I want to celebrate the event in the most meaningful way? One was the Goddess Festival solstice celebration and the other was a Fashion Show at the Kiscelli Museum, choreographed by a friend of Andrews. Without belaboring the point, I did neither. At 5:00 in the afternoon, after making a call to the US Embassy for some information, I was informed they were closed on week-ends. “But this is Friday….no, it is Saturday” Yikes, both of my Solstice choices begin at 6:00. Not only do I not feel like I can get ready, out the door and there on time, I have not a clue as to where either of them are. Yea, I do have addresses, but navigating the subway, into new areas of the City, feels like way more than what I can do……so, it appears as thou the decision has been made for me. When in reality it is clear to me, that it is my own hesitations/attitudes/reservations that keep me from a potentially delightful evening….which either one I chose. I suppose I am most regretting having missed the Fashion Show, mainly because I am conscious of how many stories I had going, about attending, plus I think it would have been fun. Andrew wanted me to meet his friends from Italy, along with the producer of the evening event. Already knowing my challenges in dealing with the disparity between my own feminine self image and my perception of the women of Hungary, not to mention a producer of a Fashion Show along with vibrant, creative geniuses from Italy!! If I went, surely I would be confronted with all of my “demons”, ones that have clung to me all of my life, having grown up with a father who loved woman for the way they made him feel about his own masculine nature and never feeling adequate in succeeding at doing much good in that area and a mother who was motherless from the age of 6, and had not a clue herself as to who she was as a woman. I blame neither of them; it was my choice, even before them I chose.


One of the workshops I attended at the Goddess Festival was on shame. We were told that it does not belong to us, but rather was given by someone else, and all we have to do is give it back. Oh, right! Just give it back..!! As if I have choice as to when I ‘shed my skin’, “drop my coat” or “emerge from the cocoon”, into the beautiful, fully liberated creature I have forever hoped myself to be!!!! So after all of the dancing and deep contemplation of the morning before, considering the possibility of “just giving it back”, here I was caught/stuck and thrown in on myself, ever so conscious of my edge.
Evidently, moving closer in on it, but not quite ready to make the leap!

I did get myself to the movies last night, after searching for an English speaking film. The only one I could find that fit the time frame was Maid of Honor. A silly little film of a man who finally realizes how much he loves the girl, only after he stands to loose her and has been asked to be her maid of honor. He comes to his senses, races into the wedding ceremony on a horse, to protest the marriage, declares his deep love and affection for her, gets the girl, they marry, and surely live happily ever after.
Without a clue as to how he manages long held fear of commitment and honesty!!
Oh well, maybe there is reason to have hope!! (I did say “silly little film didn’t I).


So, into the night I slept, tossing and turning, grieved, restless and even disappointed.

A bit more on the Festival, I did enjoy being with the woman, even thou almost none of them spoke English. Fortunately, the presenter did. There were a number of eye gazing, boundary setting exercises. Ways to connect with self and others, without words. I appreciated that. At one point it did become clear to me that as long as I stayed heart connected, I remained in some form of love, as soon as I went into my head, I felt fear. The other workshop I attended was on Chanting. I am ready to sing out….so I thought, until we were asked to sing our name. So after working our way around the circle, with all of the courage I could muster I sang out in the most timid and shy voice I have ever heard come out of my mouth, Abee. Meanwhile the rest of them had these wonderful long, multi syllabled, melodic names that they sang with great pride. Oh, oh, .where did I go?? Oops, just lost me. So, as we ran up and down the chakra system calling on all of the ancient ones, from Kali, Medusa, Peli, Hathor, Kuan Yin, Isis to the Divine Mother, we were encouraged to feel her presence. When does all of this become real, I ask? I was informed, when the student is ready!#!@# Oh well. Surely I will be ready, when I am ready.
By the way, we were encouraged to wear turquoise when speaking as it strengthens and empowers the throat chakra. Good for us that live in the SW, and have an arsenal of turquoise at our disposal.


And so here I am, Sunday morning, after having missed Saturday. I don't know what that means in the grand scheme of things. Surely the Solstice and all of the promise that it brings, will not overlook me, for having slipped into myself while in search for the ever changing evolving self that I am.


I am preparing for a journey out of Budapest, this afternoon. Eva has invited me to come visit her this week. She is attending classes at the European Center for Peace Studies in Stadtschlaining, Austria. This week the founder of the program will be presenting. According to Eva he is quite remarkable and well worth the journey. I will depart at 12:00PM and get there at 15:00. I am looking forward to the experience.

With more to share, later. Hugs to all of us.

the children and the shoes...

I seem to be relaxing into the use of my camera, so finally have some pictures to share.


Here are some of the little ones, many in the care of their grandparents. I took them all in one morning, while sitting and having coffee at my favorite cafe, on bus route #11, just down the sreet from where I live. Surely some of them are called; Anna, Katoria, Petra, Reka, Bence, Balaze, Levente or David.


And now, for those shoes...that I secretly long to wear, but have
not the courage to even try !




For some reason I have not yet felt comfortable taking pictures of the woman, "strutting their stuff". Perhaps in time.

Staying in for the day....

Ah, another day of rainy weather, granting total permission to stay (with) in and surrender into the nurturing embrace of Mother Nature as she blesses all living creatures with her down pour of life giving energy. The birds sing, the plants sing and I sing. (In truth, I am listening to Monks singing their wonderful Gregorian chants and my soul sings right along with them).

Where to start…..First things first. Sure enough, as my feminine self invited me back into the realm of exploration and celebration I am indeed noticing a new aspect of her presence. For the last couple of days, as I leave my flat and head down the hill of Buda (not the big round belly of Buddha, but Buda, as in Budapest) and through the neighborhood heading toward the bus line, I encounter many young mothers with their little ones, infants in carriages/strollers and toddlers. I am fortunate in that while here I am able to stay in a neighborhood where the families live their lives and I am able to experience a little taste of it. Personally, I missed this aspect of family life, and then I am reminded of my dear connection to “my girls” and the many wonderful walks we have taken together. I miss Sophie and McBeal and recall our connection. I am grateful to them for giving me the experience of loving and caring for another, so unconditionally. And, to all of the young mothers who give and preserve the gift of life, I give thanks.

My journey with Mother does not end at the bus stop. As life would have it, a couple of days ago, while exploring the website for current events, I discovered that there is an international Goddess Festival taking place this week, right here in Budapest. (Curiously, as my journaling for the day is unfolding I am delighted with the pervasive presence of the Mother, as she is showing up on my journey. Including my most recent personal understanding of the deep connection between global warming/environmental issues and our spiritual awakening which is being prompted by Mother Nature, Herself!)

I attended the opening talk of the Festival last night. A slide presentation was given of the vast representation of the Mother, throughout time and space. Her presence and power has been honored and highly revered throughout the ages. I loved being in the presence of so many woman from around the world, all gathered together in honor of the feminine. The Festival goes on thru Sunday, with a Solstice celebration Saturday evening. I am not sure how much of it I will be attending. With time, I will know and surely have stories to tell.

The day before yesterday, I did indeed connect with Andrew. We got together at 11 AM. Spending the next 10 hours together, there was sufficient time to get somewhat oriented in this wonderful new region of the world. As an ex-pat, who has lived here for the past 17 years, an English teacher, creative writing instructor, lay-historian and a lover of Hungary, I could not have asked for a better guide. While we covered a lot of territory, I will not attempt to share specifics, but rather will do so as I am able to revisit the sites with much more time to integrate the places and experiences ( hopefully with some great pictures!) . Andrew took pretty broad brush strokes as we journeyed thru the streets of Budapest, moving in and out of time, as I peppered him with questions of the ancient past to the current day reality. My wide range of curiosities covering everything from the historical, political, social, environmental, spiritual and psychological life of Hungary. My thirst, for information was satisfied, as I drank it all in. I am still full and welcoming the much needed time to digest it all. And again, I remain so grateful to have the time here, to be able to go back and actually be in some of those pretty amazing places, allowing myself to fully imagine actually being there back thru time. And it is all just a few trams stops away!

One of my favorite parts of the day, was in meeting some of Andrews friends, artists from Hungary, Tigore and Akiram Bansaghi, husband and wife. Tigore comes from a family of artists, at least three generations deep. You can go to their website at http://www.bansaghi.hu/ and see the vastness of their work, including that of his grandfather, father, brother, Akiram and his sons. Quite a wonderful expression of artistic talent. They both spoke good English, even thou Tigore was a little shy about doing so. Akiram left Hungary, after the occupation of the Russians and traveled the world, studying and performing. She was much more confident in sharing her passions. Along with a deep enthusiasm for her art she also expressed a real concern for the well being of her people. Specifically their difficulty in cultivating an inner life. It seems as though the oppression which accompanies the life experience of being “fully provided for”, as in a living in Communist ruled country, without the privilege of finding ones own voice, has led to quite an apathetic society. Self connection not being apart of the inner dialogue, as independent thinking has not been fostered and certainly not encouraged. Perhaps this has something to with all of the graffiti I witnessed on the streets. The raw and rampant unleashing of long held dynamic energy just waiting to do something. Defacing buildings can not compare to the defacing of a soul. Protest takes many shapes and forms. Surely the Hungarians are not the only ones to find difficulty in expressing full potential, as we all live with some form of oppression, it is just that some form are more systemic and obvert than others. Tigore, coming from many generations of free spirits and Akiram who found the courage and the means to escape the political regime and has now returned, together have much to offer as they share their love of life and their love of one another, through their art. My time with them was precious. Surely I will return for another visit, while here.

In honor of freedom and the courage to seize it.

Disclaimer.....

First, here are a few pictures. I promise there will be many more, I am just getting use to my camera as well as learning how to upload pictues to my site. These are one's of crowds, waiting for the tram, and the outdoor market.






Disclaimer: As I am sharing my journey with you, please keep it mind it is merely my perception of life here in Budapest. As I explore this new place, I am curious about what captures my attention. I am thinking about what we see. Is it all about what we want to see, need to see, are willing to see or even are ready to see. How does the saying go, “seeing is believing” or is it “believing is seeing”? A curious thing happened to me yesterday as I ventured back into the City. I took my camera and planned to snap some pictures of those women in their high heels. Amazingly they were no where to be found. Where did they all go? Were they just a figment of my imagination? Instead I started to notice how many women wear skin tight tops, with low cut necklines, revealing lots of cleavage. Just as those in their high heels did, they do so with such ease, so nonchalantly and naturally. Clearly, quite comfortable in their skin. I am intrigued by this and look forward to what my unexpressed feminine self will reveal tomorrow. But for now, I ask that you not hold the women of Budapest hostage to the out picturing of my shadow self, seeking integration. Please know that, even if they do in fact exist, my intention is not to diminish them to my simple observations, but rather respectfully notice and take in the full range of expression.

Now, for bringing into focus my explorations here in Eastern Europe, Budapest Hungary, in the district of Buda, west side of the Danube River, home of Eva Rambala at #12 Busavirag Ute., I am a woman who was born in the Midwestern part of the USA, in Omaha Nebraska, having spent most of my life in Albuquerque New Mexico and today, deeply committed to living a life of complexities as a spiritual being having a human experience. With travel being my most favorite way of doing so, I will carry on in sharing my journey with you, into current time, mundane reality, where meaning gets spun out.

After a couple of days to recover from the frustration of his hour long wait, for the woman from the USA, Andrew has resurfaced and has decided he is willing to make a second attempt to connect, for which I am grateful. Sometimes all we need is the patience for time to do its perfect work in restoring connection. We will get together on Monday. This time with even more detailed directions, than before, I’ll keep you posted.

As long as I am reading the out picturing of my life, who is Andrew? Not a romantic interest, but certainly a part of my journey. Surely with time it will become clear, his significance. For now, I am enjoying the ease with which I am able to notice the dynamics of relationship without it being a heavy emotional dance. Ah, the beauty of not being attached. I met Andrew a couple of nights after arriving in Budapest. Magdi, the woman who welcomed me to Budapest on the night of my arrival, invited me to a film that was being shown at the local Baha’i Center. It was described as an equivalent to What the Bleep#@# . Having seen that film 9 times, this was a must see. It was The 11th Hour produced by Leonardo DeCapria. The movie was quite good. Contextually similar to What the Bleep #@#, while the content came much closer to The Inconvenient Truth.,actually taking it even one step further, in the grand scheme of things. In fact I had a whole new perspective of the global warming issue, as we are being challenged to make new choices as to how we are living our lives on this planet, in the year of 2008 B.C. It became clear to me, that Mother Earth is offering us a wake-up call. It appears as though we have reached a point in the evolution of consciousness, when we are being asked to wake up from our illusions which are based upon our belief's that we are independent, separate, isolated beings. The time seems to be drawing near that is is essential that we shift into a conscious awareness of our interconnected cosmic whole. I am hopeful that we will rise to the occasion.

After the film, we formed a circle and people shared their feelings about it. I really enjoyed this part of the evening. While the majority of those in attendance were Hungarian, there were about 4 of us who spoke only English. So, those that knew both languages, translated for the group. While the sharing’s took twice as long, it was a delight to hear the Hungarian language and then to be able to actually understand what was being said. The responses ranged from an expressed commitment to taking personal action to a desire to explore the creation of public policy. I do not know exactly where Hungary stands politically on environmental issues, but I do know that already I have been impressed with what I see. For instance, recycling bins are placed throughout the City. And while there are a good number of cars on the street, the vast majority of the people use the mass transit system. I am imagining that coming out of a Communist system; folks here have a better sense of the collective, in spite of some of the more unpleasant aspects of the previous political regime.
Socially, Budapest is said to have more shopping malls than all of Eastern Europe, with the vast majority of them emerging since the early 1990’s. I wonder about how this Capitalistic explosion is going to impact the well-being of the country and its people. I am thinking that this is a type of back lash, and that with a past based in a psyche of the collective, it will do fine. Speaking of the transit system, the underground trains are some of the oldest in Europe, second only to the one's in London.

Enough for now, with much more later.

Venturing out...

Last night I ventured out, to meet a new friend. He is an ex-pat and was enthusiastic about sharing with me, some of his favorite experiences in this foreign land. . We were to meet at 6:00, where bus # 11 meets the yellow train. I confidently set out with plenty of time to arrive on schedule. After waiting ½ hour, and no Andrew, I assumed something must have come up. (I have been encouraged to get an inexpensive cell phone while here, for situations such as this. Oh well, not there yet). So rather than heading home so early in the evening, I decided to get on the train and do some site seeing, riding it to the end of the tracks. It was not until after returning home, some hours later, that I received an email from Andrew. He too waited, for an hour, elsewhere. I have yet to figure out where my confidence had led me astray, but clearly not to my anticipated connection. Regrettably, his hour long wait seems to have squelched his desire to get together, while my ½ hour one and subsequent train ride into the city only flamed my curiosity to learn more about this place, from someone who speaks my language. Time will tell if Andrew will reconsider the possibility. In the meantime I will try a pass of empathy and see what happens.

Onto the train ride, rush hour in the city of Budapest Hungary, capital of Eastern Europe. As we travel down the main street, I am awe stuck by the beauty of the office buildings and store fronts. (Simultaneously deeply grieved with the vast amount of graffiti which defaces them. Who and why would someone do this to such works of art? I wonder about the youth in the USA. What needs are these street artists around the world hoping to meet, in their expression of apparent protest? What are they trying to say and who are they saying it to? Is the message universal or local, or both? Perhaps some web searching/studies will shed some light on this curiosity of mine.) Back to the beauty of the elaborate and ornate work that is present on the front of so many very large buildings which line the streets. On and on they go, and this is just one street. I am sure I will be sharing many photos of them, in days to come. At one point we pass by a building that is being refurbished. All but the facade has been torn down, leaving a 2 foot deep face of a building. For some reason, the image stayed with me, as I wondered about my inclination to draw conclusions based upon superficial images, first impressions. Often leading to a whole set of assumptions, which may have nothing to do with the reality. What ever that is! And speaking of “pretty faces”, there are so many on these streets. Beautiful, young, tall, slender legged women in very high heels. How do they do it?? So casually, as if they were born with them on. And with such an air of confidence and sophistication. Not long into this crowd and it becomes clear to me where my self-image is needing some empathy. I am playing the comparison game, one I am all too familiar with. Traveling seems to require a certain degree of self confidence and when in new unfamiliar places, those areas in which I am most vulnerable, seem to rise to the surface for attention. So, my femininity it is. Not a huge surprise. With no desire to deny this, I will do some self-connection and hopefully soon celebrate how precious all of these beauties are, as we move with such ease and confidence and comfort in our own shoes !

As I become aware of being hungry; I get off the train and find a street side café for a bite to eat. I select a Hungarian pizza. It was not until after I ordered and the table was set, with a plate and a packet of ketchup, that I remembered reading that Hungarians use ketchup for their tomato sauce. Oh well. It will be a new experience. Fortunately, not a bad one, however I did not add additional topping, thank you. Hungarian currency is quite different here. Actually I find it a little intimidating. Where is my prosperity consciousness, when I need it? Just looking at pricing seems to stimulate fear. When I see prices in the 1,000’s, my conditioned mind goes into overwhelm. It is after taking a deep breath and doing the math, that I am able to relax and make some choices. So, rather than paying $2,000 for dinner and leaving a $400 tip,
I pay $12 dollars and leave a $2 tip. Now that I can live with, even imagining there may even be enough for an ice cream later on.

Today it rained, quite a bit. It has done so, since I arrived here. I am thoroughly enjoying it. Eva’s place is on the third floor and looks out over the city. All of the glass doors and windows open and allow the fresh moist air, to fill the rooms. I am still getting use to being in a new space and using unfamiliar appliances. To date, my biggest challenge being the washing machine. I have a new found appreciation for the “little pictures” on the dials, as I have not a clue as to what it says, but interpreting the images I can do. There is no dryer, but rather a clothes rack. How very convenient and actually quite efficient. I am clueless as to why I have not used one at home. This alternative way of drying clothes make a whole lot of sense, actually more sense that a drying machine. It must have to do with the fluffy feel !!

I am still getting use to the time change, and with all the time I need it is of little concern. It almost feels like surfing two time zones, my body using sleeping and waking states to find its balance. Well, it is now 2:30 AM, and I think I will stop. Surely, more later.

(the pictures are ones of my place
of waiting..)

I am just now beginning to feel normal...

after making the trip across the sea, with an 8 hour lay-over in Moscow. Unfortunately I was not able to explore the City without a visa, which evidently is quite difficult to come by. I was told that you have to be invited by a resident of the country, in order to get one. It was only after pleading for "mercy", that I was able to venture beyond the boarding area, and into the airport. I had hoped to get some sense of the country and its people, even if by just visiting their shops and resturants. Much to my dismay, all I found were "duty fee" shops filled with alcohol and cosmetics. The one resturant was crowded and quite expensive. Clearly travel has not been a big part of the culture and apparently the regime change is slow in fostering it. In fact, the vast majority of travelers in and out of the airport were men in in business attire. My American Airline flight was the first one into Moscow, for the flight attendants. Times are changing. On to Budapest. My exit from the airport was smooth. Getting to Eva's was a little tricky, but I made it and was greeted by two of her friends, with dinner and a bottle of champagne. The next two days have been all about finding my barrings. My body has been totally confused, going to sleep at 6 AM and waking up at 2PM. Slowly I am acclimating. Today I did my first grocery shopping. That was quite an adventure. None of the labels look familiar, so I bought lots of fruits and vegtables and yog-fit, which I was assured was yogurt! Hungarian is said to be one of the hardest languages to understand, even for its neighboring countries. I have no illusions about learning it and will remain grateful when I encounter those who have been willing to learn my language, while appreciating the sounds of theirs, connecting the best I can whenever possible.

I hope to have much more interesting tales to tell, as I emerge from this place of slow and gentle recuperation. Above are a couple of pictures of Eva's place. I am thoroughly enjoying the openness of it. Meets my need for expansive views with lots of light. Yea!! More later.

Leaving her behind...

while carrying her in my heart. This is Sophie, on our last day in the park together, before I leave for my journey.

As she keeps my heart open to the preciousness of connection, I will remember her often.