In the midst of many blessings, off to a rough start

Here I am, night two, 2 AM, wide awake, slowly making my way thru jet lag, after having traveled thru multiple time zones. Since I had slept my way thru the two international legs of the flight over, I had hoped that I would have been spared it, but no such luck. So, here I lay, listening to the sounds of the Ganges River, preparing my first blog entry since arriving in India.

Between London and New Delhi, I had an 8 hour layover. Not one to miss an opportunity for adventure, in a new country with enough time to do a bit of exploring, I made my way onto the Tube, headed into Leicester Square, one stop past Piccadilly Circus in downtown London. I had just enough time to grab a bite to eat, take a brief walk around the Square and then back to the airport. Actually cutting it a bit close, generating a small amount of stress, as it became clear that I would not make the recommended early arrival for International flights. Fortunately I was befriended by a local fellow who was on his way to Singapore and was quite familiar with the different terminals at Heathrow. Graciously he guided me along my way. I am sure he made the difference as to whether or not I made my connection, with only minutes to spare. Upon reflection, I generally tend to cut it short, not being one to enjoy arriving hours early, and then just waiting for departure. While I have never missed a flight, often I have arrived just in the nick of time, as I did a few days ago, at Heathrow airport. I suppose we all have different temperaments, determining how we navigate our way thru life. Would I be better off, doing it differently? Don't know.

Upon boarding the plane to New Delhi, I was pleasantly surprised to experience a remarkably more comfortable plane. This was a flight on award winning Asian run Jet Airways, where customer care is top priority, reflected all the way from the design of the aircraft to the attentiveness of the stewardesses to the delicious Indian meals that were served. Shortly after boarding we were offered a warm damp face cloth for freshening up with, and I knew I was in good hands. Periodically during my journey across the ocean I reflected on the flight from Brazil to Paris, that just yesterday, disappeared in midair, yet to be discovered. Some 220 life's, just gone, with no clear answers as to why or where. Just gone. Surely, some form of destiny at work, seeming to have little influence on any of the thousands of travelers committed to carrying on with our plans, wherever they were taking us. Shortly after breakfast, two hours before arrival time, I chose to watch The Reader. I had wanted to see it when it first came out, but missed doing so. Quite a tender film. I found myself left feeling vulnerable and open as we landed in Delhi. Somehow imagining that it was all part of the journey. Making my way thru immigration, claiming my luggage, receiving some currency from the ATM machine and finding my way to the shuttle bus, which would take me to the interstate bus station , all went very smoothly. Surprisingly I was spared the onslaught of beggars and taxi drivers that I had been warned of. But instead, much to my delight, while waiting for a full load of passengers, I was accompanied by a young man, who spoke good English and was eager to offer his support, encouraging me to ask him "anything I wanted to know" about his country, his culture, his people. While I was feeling a bit numbed from the past 36 hours of travel, I had little to ask. Slowly, as the conversation began to unfold, and we exchanged names, it became clear that he was sent to me by Sai Baba. His name is Sai Ram. I asked him if he knew Sai Baba and he informed me that he had received his name from the Avatar.

I have been aware of Sai Baba for many, many years. He was one of the Eastern Guru's that influenced my teachings early on. More recently, while in the hospital in March, a friend of mine, a devotee of his, brought me his picture and encouraged me to pray to Swamiji. I appreciated his familiar image, while not necessarily feeling a personal connection with him. During the final hour before confirming my plane reservation, I found myself praying to him for support, should this journey be for my highest good. And now, here he was receiving me into his country, thru Sai Ram. Once the connection was conscious, the questions began to flow. There was a kind of kindredness between us and I welcomed the guidance he had to offer. After arriving at the bus terminal, Sai Ram guided me thru the maze, I had anticipated at the airport, first taking me shopping for food and water, before getting on the 7 hour bus ride I was about to take. Then, exploring the different options, attempting to find the right bus for the trip, negotiating with the bus driver in purchasing the right ticket for the proper fare. After coaching me as to how to find my way, once in Rishikesh and onto the Ashram, he was off. Before leaving he gave me his cell number, insisting I call him, should I need any help. So that as I headed for the Northern part of India, I was sure that I was in good hands, and that Mother India was looking after me! I look forward to the journey she has in store for me, while visiting her homeland.

It is now 4:21 AM. Before long, daily yoga will begin. I look forward to the opportunity to support my body in easing into those postures which will allow it to comfortably sit cross legged, on the floor, as we all share in our meals and other communal practices together.

One week later:

It was a week ago that I arrived at Poohl Chatti, a small ashram on the Ganges River, north of Rishikesh. It has been the perfect place in which to get my bearings. The perfect place to become somewhat accustomed to this new and very different country/culture. It is located about 4 km. outside of the bustling city of Rishikesh, which is quite a sacred area, at the base of the Himalaya mountains. Now is the holiday season for the Indians and this holy place is a destination spot for many of them. The massive numbers of people that fill the streets, can be quite overwhelming. I spent my first night there before making my way here, the next morning. I have traveled into town a number of times, getting small tastes of it and then retreating back to the ashram, in order to assimilate.




Yes, it has been perfect to be here. Life at the ashram has been sweet. There are many travelers from all over the world staying here for short periods of time, stopping by in order to replenish their weary souls, before venturing on. Chai time, after our meals, provides great opportunities to share of each others adventures, favorite towns/areas/ashrams to visit, politics, spiritual practices, along with many, many stories that emerge out of being in this awesome part of the world.

There is also a retired resident Swami who is at home here along with a number of others and many locals that come to visit. It has been a great place to learn of some of their traditions, including sharing our meals sitting on the floor cross legged, eating only with our right hand (left hand is reserved for – toilet duty) removing shoes before entering the dining hall, evening chants, proper dress and getting familiar with hearing a foreign language, opening to communication beyond words, all the while taking in the constant rhythmic sounds of the Ganges flowing, in the background. As is so often the case, I have been blessed with a wonderful room. Mine was on the top floor at the end of a corridor, with 3 sides of windows, one which looks out over the sacred waters. It makes it a bit of a challenge leaving here.

The first few days were quite intense, in that the temperatures got quite high, in the 40's, along with a good bit of humidity. While absolutely loving all of the views my little abode afforded me, there was no escaping the heat as the sun came pouring in, from all directions. Along with all of the bright light, came much heat! Just about the time I recovered from jet lag, we had an evening downpour which broke the heat spell and I was ready to enjoy my arrival. It was about that time, that I became acquainted with two of the others, staying here. Emanual and Tara, from Australia. They had just arrived from the Southern part of the country, in order to escape the heat there. Not toosurprisingly, they are devotees of Sai Baba and had been living at his ashram for the past 4 months. Emanual has been a disciple of his for the past 20 years. They had great stories to share , clarifying even further, that visiting His ashram was in store for me.

All of the women here wear wonderful bright colored clothing. I am finding that I am ready to unload everything I brought to wear, replacing it with Indian garb, including wonderful long scarfs, with multiple purposes. Doing so is very inexpensive as prices are extremely low here.

Line, a dear young woman from Denmark is heading to Delhi and has offered to drop off a bag of mine to be stored at one of the hotels, until I return for my flight home. While committed to traveling light, I am seeking even lighter and appreciate the offer.

One of my favorite parts of the day here has been the 2 hour morning yoga classes. Over 30+ years ago, I practiced yoga and loved it. ( It was around the same time that I was listening to George Harrison's album All Things Must Pass, after the Beatles had made their way to Rishikesh to study with the Maharashi, on their "Magical Mystery tour"! ) I have practiced yoga, off and on since but never on a very regular basis. Getting into the class here, I reconnected with the time when I so enjoyed it. Doing yoga in India seems to feel so natural with the body responding some days more comfortably than others. It is such a great way to prepare for the travel days ahead, loosening and stretching all of the joints and muscles that will be asked to serve me on my way. Yes, in India, one doe yoga and how good it is!

The other special part of the day, is spent swimming in the Ganges. As a way to cool down from the heat, many of us make our way to the River, soaking in her cool, fresh waters. The same waters that are so highly revered and plays such a major part in the spiritual life of the millions of Hindis. Surely there will be many more experiences of the Ganges as I travel on. Surely, this is one I will remember quite fondly.


So much more could be said, so much more will be remembered, but for now, it is time to move on. I have attended my last yoga session while here, had breakfast, exchanged addresses and shared final hugs and said good-bye's. Now is time to journey on, making my way even further north, heading towards Dharmsala, home of the Dali Lama. Namaste.

The journey begins, long before leaving..

As I sit here looking out over the Animas River in Durango, Colorado, I am contemplating my upcoming adventure. I have been here for a week. Being here is a gift given a couple of months ago, however I did not fully appreciate its timeliness until just recently. It is one of those treasures that seems to magically appear, just at the right time. It is the serendipity which happens, when traveling. This particular journey I am currently traveling on, is one in which I will be venturing into the mystical realm of Mother India. The sojourn actually began at the moment of inception, when the idea first occurred to me and I said, Yes! “India huh, – really ? - are you sure? - why not ? - where else - of course ! - oh my gosh ! - I AM GOING TO INDIA !!!!!”

After checking with Daniel as to when he would be returning to Albuquerque for the summer, and caring for Sophie, the travel dates became clear to me, even though it would be another two months before I made my plane reservations. I was careful not to rush the idea into manifestation prematurely , allowing to it take shape in a gradual and natural manner. If this idea was real, and not merely a figment of my imagination, surely it would unfold without me needing to “make” anything happen. The idea actually revealed itself out of a place of quiet desperation. With so many precious needs, such as clarity, direction, purpose, sustainability, and understanding unmet in my life, I found myself mired in despair from not having a clue as to what this particular life is all about. Even as I felt a deep inner connection, on the surface of my life, never before had I been so uprooted, “living off the grid”, as one friend put it. Without a home and unemployed, with Sophie in tow, we moved 9 times since returning from Budapest last summer. During a good part of that time, we spent our days walking the paths of the North Valley, along the corridor of the Rio Grande River. We walked our way thru the fall, winter and into spring of 2008-2009. . Yes, Sophie and I took some great walks. We experienced mother nature at her finest, as she revealed her ever changing, and unfolding expression of beauty and abundant life! Consistently reminding me of the true nature of life. Wildlife was always present, as Canadian geese, ducks, and Sandhill cranes all migrated in to the area for the winter, resting and replenishing before heading further north. Alpacas, goats, sheep, horses, and other farm life, along with lots of fellow canines, all graced our path, as we walked. We were also accompanied by friends and family.

Throughout the changing seasons, the skyscapes mutated into multiple shades of color ,from deep red evening sunsets, to cold, crisp bright blue skies - that went on as far as my imagination would take me. The foliage turned from dark green to shades of red, orange and yellow to lifeless brown –as the leaves fell to the ground, rendering the the limbs barren for the winter - and then returning once again to the light green of new life, soft and tender. The River slowed down during the winter months, continuing to provide adequate water levels for Sophie to swim and play in, while creating wonderful expansive beaches upon which to bask in the cool winter sun.

As difficult as the days may have been, it was on the walks that I was able to, time and time again, re-establish my deep inner connection with self, somehow maintaining a healthy perspective from which to carry on. So, as I speak of homelessness, never did I really feel homeless. In addition to always having a place stay, I was always able to return to my favorite place to be, outdoors - walking the paths of the North Valley, with Sophie. I was always grateful when welcomed in. Each time, blessed by the generosity and care of others, provided with opportunities for growth, connection, support and consideration. Other than the moments when I was taken to the edge, before really knowing where our next place was to be, the journey has been OK (except for the schlepping of stuff from place to place…..which is a whole other conversation…..why do I have so much stuff? too much stuff…surely ….I will travel lighter thru India!). While all of this moving is not my preference, it has been tolerable, acceptable, bearable, for the time being. I trust that I will rediscover the joy in it, as I make my way into the upcoming adventure.

It was in March, when I began to grow weary from -not knowing - that I broke open, as I prayed, for a new experience of life. A life which provided the means in which to more fully express self, contributing more fully, all that I am and all that I have come into this life to offer, that the idea occurred to me. Shortly thereafter, I dealt with a health issue that required an in-depth examination of self. Was I up to the task of persevering or not? The answer was quite clear. With just a little encouragement I was quite willing to continue the task of co-creating the life I was intended to live. Soon, I was invited into a new housesitting situation, for the month of April. It was here that I actively embraced Spring, as I eagerly pulled weeds,creating plenty of room for the newly planted seeds to grow. An abundance of seeds and plants were cultivated into the ground. Grass, wild flowers, potted flowers, vegetables, herbs. It was here that I began to recover from the place of despair that I had spiraled into. I slowly I began to heal as the process of self nurturing took place. It was during this time that I booked my flight. In doing so, I moved thru a time of questioning the India idea, as my world reflected back to me the shadow stories lurking deep within. I began to imagine just what my world of relations were thinking, as I began to claim the reality, I was going to India!! "How can that possibly be! “You are homeless and unemployed. One does not travel under those conditions?”, I imagined them screaming. Some screamed louder than others. But scream they did –in my imagination that is. On the day, that I was to confirm my plane reservations, there appeared to be a very good possibility that I would not make the deadline. I surrendered, trusting that if I was to go, I would surely go. By midnight that night, my e-tickets were safely stored in my mail box, just waiting for the time of departure.

The month of May has been an interesting one. It has been one of letting go, as plans have continued to change, from day to day. At one point, it appeared as thou I would be spending my time in Albuquerque, Belen and Santa Fe, and low and behold, it is in Durango that we are! And clearly it is the right place to be. It is a gentle, easy, lovely place to be as I continue to open into the plan. In preparation for the trip, Soph and I continue to walk, now along the banks of the mighty Animas River. Meanwhile, I imagine, I network, I Google, I watch videos of India and read stories of India, all the while secretly aware that most likely there is no way to really prepare for what lies in store. For now, I am doing my best to lighten my load, tending to business, so as to go fearlessly, unbound and free.

With the good possibility of getting a bit distracted by all of the things to see and do, I must stay connected to the original purpose of this journey, as it was revealed some three months ago. I am going in order to experience God. To experience my True Self, up close and personal. I am going in order to enter into sacred spaces from which to listen, to pray, to surrender to the full realization of the purpose of this life, so that I may move into fuller and richer expression from which to contribute to life.

So, as I continue walking the path, as it leads me into the vastness of India, I will do so with an open heart and mind, ever so grateful for the richness that life has to offer.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.

in the ending, is a new beginning..

My last few days in Budapest were sweet. I had Eva’s home to myself. I appreciated her willingness to provide me that time alone, as I attempted to bring some closure to my time there.


Briefly, I visited Tibor and expressed my deep appreciation for my connection with both him and Marika. They were an anchor point for me, in their very creative and inspired life.


And then I spent a good bit of time with Andrew. On Sunday, Benjamin was was with him. We had all previously planned to visit the Labyrinth on Castle hill. We met at 11:00 for lunch, and then headed off to explore quite an elaborate underground maze. Many of my questions went unanswered as to its historic use, as most of the signage was either of a humorous nature, including the planting of a giant Pepsi bottle, an imprint of the sole of a Nike shoe, and the mother board of a computer, along with images of petroglyphs sited in other caves throughout Europe. As one, who is always on the look out for meaning, for the sacred, I was a little chagrined, meanwhile Andrew and Benjamin had great fun with it, as did most of the other visitors. With my respect for dark places, I secretly would have welcomed more quiet time in its midst. At one point I was able to venture off alone, paying tribute for the gifts that it has to offer. While also vey much enjoying traveling thru this ongoing underground space with my new buddies.


Andrew and I shared a number of meals together over the course of my last two days in Budapest, along with multiple stops for a cup of cappuccino, all very European and delightful. I will miss that. And of course lots of conversation. The kind of conversation you have, knowing that the time for departure is drawing near. Conversation which includes those topics shared when there is little to loose and even deeper connection to be made. Not really knowing whether the connection will be maintained thru time, or whether it is one in which two souls have briefly crossed paths for the purpose of mirroring for one another the vast range of life experiences, not commonly shared, but a significant part of ones life needing to be more fully integrated in process of making room for the new. I believe we offered that to one another. As our relationship was slow in developing, thru a mutual appreciation and respect for one another, with an ever increasing tolerance for the awkwardness of coming together, parting, connecting, missing connection, deep sharing to bantering we explored our life’s with one another. Bringing into focus the finer aspects of self. Yes, it was a connection of honoring who we are, where we have been and even more precious where we aspire to be, as two individuals deeply passionate about living a True life.
I will hold this connection dear, regardless of time and place. I will keep it tucked away in my heart as a reminder of the real purpose in coming together, with other.

Fearing I would forget, who I had come to experience myself to be, I requested that he share with me, his experience of our connection.Upon arriving home, I received an email from him. I was pleased to read that that which I hold dear about this life of mine, he did indeed recognize. And should I forget, I know where I can go, to be reminded.
In honor of that which I hold most dear, I share it with you.


"On the penultimate day of Abbey’s recent Hungarian visit we again found ourselves travelling down from the Castle district by squat, cube-like bus, down a short hill to Budapest’s (uncharacteristically nostalgically) still-named Moscow Square. Braced standing on the bus at a sudden stop Abbey turned to me and said, “There’s a real art to standing near the door.”
This is how I remember Abbey. Over the course of wonderful weeks stretching into months we met and talked as we toured Budapest about a range of topics from the deeply personal to the profoundly global – and always in the context of the rapid transformation we are all experiencing in this age. Over the course of these weeks I found Abbey a consistently articulate and likeable conversation partner and as we opened up I really learned a lot about her, myself and our respective processes from these talks.
Her ability to stand in simple witness– to ask and to acknowledge and honor others’ narratives compassionately without easy judgment or advice – allows her to penetrate far into the walls of a situation towards the twin aims of understanding and healing. In doing so she stands her ground in terms of her own beliefs, yet is refreshingly open to updating her views in light of what she is encountering.
This European jaunt was a journey for her rich with encountering. I see her in this time coming shuddering back into a present life rich with possibility – rejoining the narrative of her own process of enlightenment to realize gratefully not only that nothing has been lost but that we are all correspondingly enriched by her experience and perspective. At least I am.
Thank you Abbey!

With love,Andrew "

Thank you Andrew for the Many gifts you have offered me, during my visit to Budapest.

Now it is time to leave this lovely City of Budapst. It has served me extremely well, as the base from which to explore new territory. Its richness runs deep and wide, from its history to its culture, politics, people and landscape. Over the past three months, as I wove my own very personal experiences of connection with self, others and Self, into the fullness of this “magical, mystery tour” an incredible tapestry of meaning emerged. One which carried me throughout, gifting me with a wide range of experiences. Experiences that I trust will help to inform me, as I carry on. I do not know where that is, however I trust that it will be into places of ever expanding service.

Many of you have traveled with me during this time. I have enjoyed your company. I have appreciated hearing how you have connected to your own journey, vicariously thru mine. That has been part of the magic, leaving little question that in the mystery of our interconnected nature, my journey is yours as is yours mine. Thru the blog, I have had the great pleasure of being the storyteller. I wish that experience for everyone, for in the gift of telling my story, I have been able to truly honor and celebrate many blessings, as they have come to pass. Thank you dear friends, for bearing witness. I have felt richly rewarded in being seen, heard and received. All gifts beyond measure.

From my heart to yours, may each of us continue to travel into ever expanding unknown territory, together, consciously weaving greater and greater tapestries of being.

With love,
Abbey

And now, to be with dear Sophie. My heart skips a beat as I look forward to being together.

....sweet, sweet connection.

venturing briefly into Romania

After leaving Eva’s for the week, I spent a couple of days with Magdi. I enjoyed getting to know her even better, as well as exploring her neighborhood in Budapest. She lives in the hills of Buda, in a forest of wonderful wildlife. Just the kind of area prime for getting lost in. And as my journey would have it, thats just what I did. It was at 10:00 one evening, after catching the last bus of the night, and getting off at the last bus stop, that I set out up the hill towards Magid's. Some 100 yards up a steep terain, I reached the end of the road and nothing looked familiar. Long story short, I assumed that bus #128 was close enough to #28, that surely it would work just fine. Wrong! Different bus, different route. Lesson learned. And, sure enough, as these kind of travel experiences go for me, “out here, let loose into the wild, dark of the night”, I was found! This time by a young man who was passing by after dropping his girlfriend off for the night. He was equipped with a car, cell phone and good English. After reaching Magdi on her cell phone, and getting us re-oriented, he assisted me in getting to her place. So, just a short time after my mis-step, I was celebrating the speed in which the travel spirits had come to my rescue. Nice job! Thanks.

Then, back onto the train and into Romania, making for one more wonderful journey in Eastern Europe. I set out for Oradea to visit my friend Kate, who is doing some work there for the Peace Corp. Oradea is on the western border of the country. Up until shortly after WWI, when large portions of Hungary were allocated to neighboring countries, this region was actually part of the Hungarian Empire. Today, many Hungarians continue to feel a real kinship with this part of their lost country, many of them still living there, speaking their native language and eating their native foods.

As I ventured into the community of Ordadea, I also ventured into relationship with an old friend. Both of the experiences taking me back in time. Oradea seems to be a many decades behind Budapest in the development of a new political and social system, with an infrastructure in disrepair. And as for my connection with Kate, we too have our own social system, based in the past somewhat slow to change. But just as in Oradea, there is promise and perhaps even more importantly, a willingness to explore new life. A life, a relationship which I am hopeful will provide even more authentic and life serving connection. I very much appriciated my time with Kate and her generosity of spirit as we navigated our way along, each of us doing our best at staying connected with self, while opening to the other as much as our comfort level would allow. Letting go of outdated systems while embracing new ones, does not seem to be an easy or quick process for any of us, as individuals or as communities of people. I’d say we did well. Thanks Kate.

So, as I lightly touched down in Romania, I was hard pressed to get a real feel for the country. As I searched for a sense of their unique culture, I was struck by their architecture which was refreshingly different than what I have experienced for the past 3 months. Bright colors and cylinder like fronts. Instead of Catholic churches, the City was filled with Orthodox churches, with very tall multiple steeples. Newly built is a very large Baptist church that the town seems to be quite proud of. Reportedly there is a very large castle in the middle of the City, which we never did find, however we did come across a very old fortress, which reportedly houses an Arts Center. From our limited access it was hard to identify. Oradea, has not yet dressed itself up for the travelers who are passing thru, hoping to get a glimpse of their more vibrant past. The community seems to be tending more to the business at hand, living their day to days lives as they make the adjustments that time is asking of them. Romania has recently joined the European Union. For those living on the countryside, this is creating real hardship for the small, local farmers who do not have the means to purchase the necessary equipment in order to bring their dairy products up to the newly established standards as mandated by the EU.

There are many more Roma’s in Oradea than I have crossed paths with in Hungary. They remind of the indigenous people I have met elsewhere, dressed in bright colorful clothing, ready and eager to receive any financial contribution a sympathetic visitor may have to offer.


On one of my days in Romania, I ventured out on a road trip for the smaller village of Bieus. With no direct bus or train ride available, the most efficient way of getting there, involved negotiating a ride with a local, unofficial taxi driver. The routine is to go to the outskirts of town and start exploring the possibilities, which actually are quite plentiful. Speaking no Romania, I was left to sign language. So, as both I and my potential driver wave our currency in the air, indicating what we are willing to give and what we are willing to accept, we come to an agreement and off we go, along with 5 other passengers. Traveling this ways was a great way see the countryside as well as to be present to local conversation, clueless as to what was being said, but enjoying the sounds, as we passed by large sunflower and corn fields, periodically coming upon a horse and buggy with passengers making their way down the road.

Yes, it was a quick trip. Not nearly enough time to really be able to speak of the country and its people with any kind of confidence, but I can say that I am grateful for having been there for the time I was, feeling as though my global boundaries have been stretched just a tiny bit further into the vastness of it all.


So, here I am back at Eva’s. With 2 days left before heading back to the USA. I hope to write one more blog before boarding the plane. For today, I look forward to being fully present to this time, in this place that I have come to experience as home, while gently and hopefully gracefully say my goodbyes. Ah, those bittersweet moments that make up the richness of life.


Love is the nature of all things.....