Staying in for the day....

Ah, another day of rainy weather, granting total permission to stay (with) in and surrender into the nurturing embrace of Mother Nature as she blesses all living creatures with her down pour of life giving energy. The birds sing, the plants sing and I sing. (In truth, I am listening to Monks singing their wonderful Gregorian chants and my soul sings right along with them).

Where to start…..First things first. Sure enough, as my feminine self invited me back into the realm of exploration and celebration I am indeed noticing a new aspect of her presence. For the last couple of days, as I leave my flat and head down the hill of Buda (not the big round belly of Buddha, but Buda, as in Budapest) and through the neighborhood heading toward the bus line, I encounter many young mothers with their little ones, infants in carriages/strollers and toddlers. I am fortunate in that while here I am able to stay in a neighborhood where the families live their lives and I am able to experience a little taste of it. Personally, I missed this aspect of family life, and then I am reminded of my dear connection to “my girls” and the many wonderful walks we have taken together. I miss Sophie and McBeal and recall our connection. I am grateful to them for giving me the experience of loving and caring for another, so unconditionally. And, to all of the young mothers who give and preserve the gift of life, I give thanks.

My journey with Mother does not end at the bus stop. As life would have it, a couple of days ago, while exploring the website for current events, I discovered that there is an international Goddess Festival taking place this week, right here in Budapest. (Curiously, as my journaling for the day is unfolding I am delighted with the pervasive presence of the Mother, as she is showing up on my journey. Including my most recent personal understanding of the deep connection between global warming/environmental issues and our spiritual awakening which is being prompted by Mother Nature, Herself!)

I attended the opening talk of the Festival last night. A slide presentation was given of the vast representation of the Mother, throughout time and space. Her presence and power has been honored and highly revered throughout the ages. I loved being in the presence of so many woman from around the world, all gathered together in honor of the feminine. The Festival goes on thru Sunday, with a Solstice celebration Saturday evening. I am not sure how much of it I will be attending. With time, I will know and surely have stories to tell.

The day before yesterday, I did indeed connect with Andrew. We got together at 11 AM. Spending the next 10 hours together, there was sufficient time to get somewhat oriented in this wonderful new region of the world. As an ex-pat, who has lived here for the past 17 years, an English teacher, creative writing instructor, lay-historian and a lover of Hungary, I could not have asked for a better guide. While we covered a lot of territory, I will not attempt to share specifics, but rather will do so as I am able to revisit the sites with much more time to integrate the places and experiences ( hopefully with some great pictures!) . Andrew took pretty broad brush strokes as we journeyed thru the streets of Budapest, moving in and out of time, as I peppered him with questions of the ancient past to the current day reality. My wide range of curiosities covering everything from the historical, political, social, environmental, spiritual and psychological life of Hungary. My thirst, for information was satisfied, as I drank it all in. I am still full and welcoming the much needed time to digest it all. And again, I remain so grateful to have the time here, to be able to go back and actually be in some of those pretty amazing places, allowing myself to fully imagine actually being there back thru time. And it is all just a few trams stops away!

One of my favorite parts of the day, was in meeting some of Andrews friends, artists from Hungary, Tigore and Akiram Bansaghi, husband and wife. Tigore comes from a family of artists, at least three generations deep. You can go to their website at http://www.bansaghi.hu/ and see the vastness of their work, including that of his grandfather, father, brother, Akiram and his sons. Quite a wonderful expression of artistic talent. They both spoke good English, even thou Tigore was a little shy about doing so. Akiram left Hungary, after the occupation of the Russians and traveled the world, studying and performing. She was much more confident in sharing her passions. Along with a deep enthusiasm for her art she also expressed a real concern for the well being of her people. Specifically their difficulty in cultivating an inner life. It seems as though the oppression which accompanies the life experience of being “fully provided for”, as in a living in Communist ruled country, without the privilege of finding ones own voice, has led to quite an apathetic society. Self connection not being apart of the inner dialogue, as independent thinking has not been fostered and certainly not encouraged. Perhaps this has something to with all of the graffiti I witnessed on the streets. The raw and rampant unleashing of long held dynamic energy just waiting to do something. Defacing buildings can not compare to the defacing of a soul. Protest takes many shapes and forms. Surely the Hungarians are not the only ones to find difficulty in expressing full potential, as we all live with some form of oppression, it is just that some form are more systemic and obvert than others. Tigore, coming from many generations of free spirits and Akiram who found the courage and the means to escape the political regime and has now returned, together have much to offer as they share their love of life and their love of one another, through their art. My time with them was precious. Surely I will return for another visit, while here.

In honor of freedom and the courage to seize it.

Disclaimer.....

First, here are a few pictures. I promise there will be many more, I am just getting use to my camera as well as learning how to upload pictues to my site. These are one's of crowds, waiting for the tram, and the outdoor market.






Disclaimer: As I am sharing my journey with you, please keep it mind it is merely my perception of life here in Budapest. As I explore this new place, I am curious about what captures my attention. I am thinking about what we see. Is it all about what we want to see, need to see, are willing to see or even are ready to see. How does the saying go, “seeing is believing” or is it “believing is seeing”? A curious thing happened to me yesterday as I ventured back into the City. I took my camera and planned to snap some pictures of those women in their high heels. Amazingly they were no where to be found. Where did they all go? Were they just a figment of my imagination? Instead I started to notice how many women wear skin tight tops, with low cut necklines, revealing lots of cleavage. Just as those in their high heels did, they do so with such ease, so nonchalantly and naturally. Clearly, quite comfortable in their skin. I am intrigued by this and look forward to what my unexpressed feminine self will reveal tomorrow. But for now, I ask that you not hold the women of Budapest hostage to the out picturing of my shadow self, seeking integration. Please know that, even if they do in fact exist, my intention is not to diminish them to my simple observations, but rather respectfully notice and take in the full range of expression.

Now, for bringing into focus my explorations here in Eastern Europe, Budapest Hungary, in the district of Buda, west side of the Danube River, home of Eva Rambala at #12 Busavirag Ute., I am a woman who was born in the Midwestern part of the USA, in Omaha Nebraska, having spent most of my life in Albuquerque New Mexico and today, deeply committed to living a life of complexities as a spiritual being having a human experience. With travel being my most favorite way of doing so, I will carry on in sharing my journey with you, into current time, mundane reality, where meaning gets spun out.

After a couple of days to recover from the frustration of his hour long wait, for the woman from the USA, Andrew has resurfaced and has decided he is willing to make a second attempt to connect, for which I am grateful. Sometimes all we need is the patience for time to do its perfect work in restoring connection. We will get together on Monday. This time with even more detailed directions, than before, I’ll keep you posted.

As long as I am reading the out picturing of my life, who is Andrew? Not a romantic interest, but certainly a part of my journey. Surely with time it will become clear, his significance. For now, I am enjoying the ease with which I am able to notice the dynamics of relationship without it being a heavy emotional dance. Ah, the beauty of not being attached. I met Andrew a couple of nights after arriving in Budapest. Magdi, the woman who welcomed me to Budapest on the night of my arrival, invited me to a film that was being shown at the local Baha’i Center. It was described as an equivalent to What the Bleep#@# . Having seen that film 9 times, this was a must see. It was The 11th Hour produced by Leonardo DeCapria. The movie was quite good. Contextually similar to What the Bleep #@#, while the content came much closer to The Inconvenient Truth.,actually taking it even one step further, in the grand scheme of things. In fact I had a whole new perspective of the global warming issue, as we are being challenged to make new choices as to how we are living our lives on this planet, in the year of 2008 B.C. It became clear to me, that Mother Earth is offering us a wake-up call. It appears as though we have reached a point in the evolution of consciousness, when we are being asked to wake up from our illusions which are based upon our belief's that we are independent, separate, isolated beings. The time seems to be drawing near that is is essential that we shift into a conscious awareness of our interconnected cosmic whole. I am hopeful that we will rise to the occasion.

After the film, we formed a circle and people shared their feelings about it. I really enjoyed this part of the evening. While the majority of those in attendance were Hungarian, there were about 4 of us who spoke only English. So, those that knew both languages, translated for the group. While the sharing’s took twice as long, it was a delight to hear the Hungarian language and then to be able to actually understand what was being said. The responses ranged from an expressed commitment to taking personal action to a desire to explore the creation of public policy. I do not know exactly where Hungary stands politically on environmental issues, but I do know that already I have been impressed with what I see. For instance, recycling bins are placed throughout the City. And while there are a good number of cars on the street, the vast majority of the people use the mass transit system. I am imagining that coming out of a Communist system; folks here have a better sense of the collective, in spite of some of the more unpleasant aspects of the previous political regime.
Socially, Budapest is said to have more shopping malls than all of Eastern Europe, with the vast majority of them emerging since the early 1990’s. I wonder about how this Capitalistic explosion is going to impact the well-being of the country and its people. I am thinking that this is a type of back lash, and that with a past based in a psyche of the collective, it will do fine. Speaking of the transit system, the underground trains are some of the oldest in Europe, second only to the one's in London.

Enough for now, with much more later.

Venturing out...

Last night I ventured out, to meet a new friend. He is an ex-pat and was enthusiastic about sharing with me, some of his favorite experiences in this foreign land. . We were to meet at 6:00, where bus # 11 meets the yellow train. I confidently set out with plenty of time to arrive on schedule. After waiting ½ hour, and no Andrew, I assumed something must have come up. (I have been encouraged to get an inexpensive cell phone while here, for situations such as this. Oh well, not there yet). So rather than heading home so early in the evening, I decided to get on the train and do some site seeing, riding it to the end of the tracks. It was not until after returning home, some hours later, that I received an email from Andrew. He too waited, for an hour, elsewhere. I have yet to figure out where my confidence had led me astray, but clearly not to my anticipated connection. Regrettably, his hour long wait seems to have squelched his desire to get together, while my ½ hour one and subsequent train ride into the city only flamed my curiosity to learn more about this place, from someone who speaks my language. Time will tell if Andrew will reconsider the possibility. In the meantime I will try a pass of empathy and see what happens.

Onto the train ride, rush hour in the city of Budapest Hungary, capital of Eastern Europe. As we travel down the main street, I am awe stuck by the beauty of the office buildings and store fronts. (Simultaneously deeply grieved with the vast amount of graffiti which defaces them. Who and why would someone do this to such works of art? I wonder about the youth in the USA. What needs are these street artists around the world hoping to meet, in their expression of apparent protest? What are they trying to say and who are they saying it to? Is the message universal or local, or both? Perhaps some web searching/studies will shed some light on this curiosity of mine.) Back to the beauty of the elaborate and ornate work that is present on the front of so many very large buildings which line the streets. On and on they go, and this is just one street. I am sure I will be sharing many photos of them, in days to come. At one point we pass by a building that is being refurbished. All but the facade has been torn down, leaving a 2 foot deep face of a building. For some reason, the image stayed with me, as I wondered about my inclination to draw conclusions based upon superficial images, first impressions. Often leading to a whole set of assumptions, which may have nothing to do with the reality. What ever that is! And speaking of “pretty faces”, there are so many on these streets. Beautiful, young, tall, slender legged women in very high heels. How do they do it?? So casually, as if they were born with them on. And with such an air of confidence and sophistication. Not long into this crowd and it becomes clear to me where my self-image is needing some empathy. I am playing the comparison game, one I am all too familiar with. Traveling seems to require a certain degree of self confidence and when in new unfamiliar places, those areas in which I am most vulnerable, seem to rise to the surface for attention. So, my femininity it is. Not a huge surprise. With no desire to deny this, I will do some self-connection and hopefully soon celebrate how precious all of these beauties are, as we move with such ease and confidence and comfort in our own shoes !

As I become aware of being hungry; I get off the train and find a street side café for a bite to eat. I select a Hungarian pizza. It was not until after I ordered and the table was set, with a plate and a packet of ketchup, that I remembered reading that Hungarians use ketchup for their tomato sauce. Oh well. It will be a new experience. Fortunately, not a bad one, however I did not add additional topping, thank you. Hungarian currency is quite different here. Actually I find it a little intimidating. Where is my prosperity consciousness, when I need it? Just looking at pricing seems to stimulate fear. When I see prices in the 1,000’s, my conditioned mind goes into overwhelm. It is after taking a deep breath and doing the math, that I am able to relax and make some choices. So, rather than paying $2,000 for dinner and leaving a $400 tip,
I pay $12 dollars and leave a $2 tip. Now that I can live with, even imagining there may even be enough for an ice cream later on.

Today it rained, quite a bit. It has done so, since I arrived here. I am thoroughly enjoying it. Eva’s place is on the third floor and looks out over the city. All of the glass doors and windows open and allow the fresh moist air, to fill the rooms. I am still getting use to being in a new space and using unfamiliar appliances. To date, my biggest challenge being the washing machine. I have a new found appreciation for the “little pictures” on the dials, as I have not a clue as to what it says, but interpreting the images I can do. There is no dryer, but rather a clothes rack. How very convenient and actually quite efficient. I am clueless as to why I have not used one at home. This alternative way of drying clothes make a whole lot of sense, actually more sense that a drying machine. It must have to do with the fluffy feel !!

I am still getting use to the time change, and with all the time I need it is of little concern. It almost feels like surfing two time zones, my body using sleeping and waking states to find its balance. Well, it is now 2:30 AM, and I think I will stop. Surely, more later.

(the pictures are ones of my place
of waiting..)

I am just now beginning to feel normal...

after making the trip across the sea, with an 8 hour lay-over in Moscow. Unfortunately I was not able to explore the City without a visa, which evidently is quite difficult to come by. I was told that you have to be invited by a resident of the country, in order to get one. It was only after pleading for "mercy", that I was able to venture beyond the boarding area, and into the airport. I had hoped to get some sense of the country and its people, even if by just visiting their shops and resturants. Much to my dismay, all I found were "duty fee" shops filled with alcohol and cosmetics. The one resturant was crowded and quite expensive. Clearly travel has not been a big part of the culture and apparently the regime change is slow in fostering it. In fact, the vast majority of travelers in and out of the airport were men in in business attire. My American Airline flight was the first one into Moscow, for the flight attendants. Times are changing. On to Budapest. My exit from the airport was smooth. Getting to Eva's was a little tricky, but I made it and was greeted by two of her friends, with dinner and a bottle of champagne. The next two days have been all about finding my barrings. My body has been totally confused, going to sleep at 6 AM and waking up at 2PM. Slowly I am acclimating. Today I did my first grocery shopping. That was quite an adventure. None of the labels look familiar, so I bought lots of fruits and vegtables and yog-fit, which I was assured was yogurt! Hungarian is said to be one of the hardest languages to understand, even for its neighboring countries. I have no illusions about learning it and will remain grateful when I encounter those who have been willing to learn my language, while appreciating the sounds of theirs, connecting the best I can whenever possible.

I hope to have much more interesting tales to tell, as I emerge from this place of slow and gentle recuperation. Above are a couple of pictures of Eva's place. I am thoroughly enjoying the openness of it. Meets my need for expansive views with lots of light. Yea!! More later.

Leaving her behind...

while carrying her in my heart. This is Sophie, on our last day in the park together, before I leave for my journey.

As she keeps my heart open to the preciousness of connection, I will remember her often.